Satan often works through dreams just the same way as the Lord does - at least this is what I have known and so many others as well. I am often plagued with dreams that Ryan is going to leave me or abandon me and he always says, "Kris, that isn't going to happen." The truth is, I have been left and abandoned so many times by nearly almost everyone in my life in some capacity. Either they think I'm manic when I'm not or they expect perfection from me because I am so vocal and passionate about my faith. Something happens to deter them from staying a part of my life.
But my thoughts this morning are how alone Ryan must feel at times in our relationship. I have many times told him I love you, but after the Lord. And I do tend to put work for ministry or studying or praying above other things...and I am not going to say I'm sorry for the things you've done to help me, things I've neglected because we both know things better in our situation than others; but I'm sorry for the times you've felt alone Ryan. I don't think I've ever said this and I hope you will comment. And I want to remind folks again that we've made many "fair trades" because Ryan does not feel called and has no desire to be called as I have been. I do as much as I can around the house to help and yet get in time to study and write but when I am not able to - he and Morgan have really helped. And I want to thank you again, my dear intimate family; how much you have helped and how much your support and belief in who I am and who I have been called to be and what I have been called to do - this has put pressure on all of us (and I'm sorry I haven't acknowledged this enough) but I love you so much and for as hard as Satan has tried to pull us apart and even others in our lives, whether they realize it or not; have tried to break us up - it ain't happening unless the Lord calls you home and we've talked about what that would mean so even then, Satan; we're ready. The Lord is preparing us for every possible scenario that could go wrong and we're not being ignorant to these things. But either way,
I love you, Ryan and Morgan and I thank you that even if it is just you guys, Heaven and only one other person in this life, on this earth believes in who I am and who God has called me to be and what I've been asked to do - that's enough. I don't care about the rest - I do, but I don't. Let's keep doing what we've been doing because the Lord is blessing it. I am so very proud of you both and I hope these thoughts I've been given this morning help - because every word is true. I am sorry for the times you have felt so alone...and Morgan too. I know so very well how this feels so know that you are not alone. I'm not going anywhere either...and if anyone did take me or do something to me - we know very well the story doesn't end there, don't we. I love you both so very much and those who are supporting me in prayer and thought right now. Thank you, every part of my being - heart, soul and mind...thank you with all that I am. And thank you, Lord and Abba; to you is all the honor, glory and praise, Amen!
Much love to you all in Christ, God bless you!!!
~ Kristi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkUCP18mYBU
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lord Jesus - for reconciling us to the Father and Abba for giving us the gift of your blessed Holy Spirit - as believers/disciples we are never alone. Amen! What hope, what joy - what strength! Amen!
ReplyDeletePhilippians 4:13
Ryan: Thanks! That does help, and explains a lot. There have been times where I have felt alone, but usually I don't. I'm not the most outgoing person, so I don't need a Rolodex (dating myself with that reference!) full of "friends" or people I know. Having you and Morgan and God is enough, I just need to keep that in mind when Satan tells me differently.
ReplyDeleteLove you - and let's "keep on keepin' on"!
:) Put 'em in his place - rebuke him! In the end all he can say is, "Meow?" LOL!
ReplyDeleteThanks too, for encouraging me in that you want to keep on keepin' on too! Yea! Thank you, Lord. Humbled but so blessed this morning! Thank you, Lord!
I am truly so very proud of you Ryan...I know what you are working on right now for this ministry and all those out there who think this is just me are in for a big surprise and will be put in their proper place if need be and I thank you so much again, for your willingness as in the past to be real about your own life and struggles. Even if your wife is your editor, lol. Thank you for letting me help you and for you helping me. It all comes together when we're on the same page and thankfully we have the best kid ever who is so resilient and willing to please and help...both of you are such good gifts from God. I love you both so much and again, I thank you, Lord; for all that you have given us and are working to do in and through our lives. Amen.