Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Revision of list of questions to be answered and order and introduction to questions left to be answered:

List of questions to be answered yet and their revised order:

1. Haven’t you given yourself a nice, cushy, comfortable place in saying you are the woman from Revelation 12? And isn’t that pretty pompous and arrogant? – amendment to add: aren’t you adding to Scripture by saying you have had visions/dreams? Also, you're a woman, right? Explain yourself and how you do or plan to adhere to the teachings of Scripture in regard to a woman's place in the church/ministry. Looking forward to answering this as well, lol.

2. Do you believe in a pre-tribulation rapture?

3. Are just seeking attention/money?

4. So you believe generational curses still happen or are valid?

5. What are your thoughts on the Sabbath, the Lord's Day and feasts/festivals?

6. What do you think of Muslims as a whole?

7. What do you think of Catholics?

8. What can we expect from you here on out?

Introduction to questions left to be answered:

I need to say something here before the rest of these questions are answered: if God has given me (and I believe he has and know he has) teaching that proves other teachings that exist wrong, this is not such a big deal as it could be made out to be. God is giving me these things to share now so that they can be dealt with now and not before him - so rewards can grow and lessen the likelihood of losing rewards. And I could care less about those who have taught or believed in error - I have come to know the joy in being wrong and you will not find mockery, scorn or ridicule here. If you will read what God has given me to share/teach and take it to heart and not let pride get in the way, you will find open arms of compassion, mercy and grace from me because of the compassion, mercy and grace I have been given in Christ. I have been wrong so many times myself but now that I have been disciplined as I was a week ago and now having been real about my sins and how I still struggle...an enormous outpouring of God's Holy Spirit is being given to me and not so that I can be right, but so that Christ can be honor and glorified, believers/disciples of Christ encouraged and revival can begin because this is God's will.

To a certain extent - this is about me - God has given me a calling, a purpose and missions to accomplish. But this is not in and of myself - it is Christ living and working in and through me by the indwelling presence and power of God's Holy Spirit awake and alive in my heart, soul, mind and body (see 1 Corinthians 2:20 and Galatians 5:20). I cried out to the Lord in 2008 and he faithfully began working in me as I asked for the Holy Spirit to help me through the work of repentance - to bring to mind sin and so I could confess it, ask for forgiveness and this continues still. In 2009 I was burdened and convicted by the Holy Spirit to be baptized which I did and God blessed me that day and has since but I repeat, I am not perfect nor do I think too highly of myself (if you knew me personally you would know this well - see Philippians 3:12). And any way that I or my family would be blessed by such ministry, teaching or other opportunities we have or may be given to serve - would be put back into ministries we already support, our church and with as minimal personal gain as possible but again, if God chooses to bless us personally or financially - it would be offensive in our minds to take such blessings and refuse them. We have asked God to help us with many challenges that have come our way financially both because of mistakes we made in the past but are working so hard to turn around and be real about but also because we have not been given the support in the past that we have needed from churches we were a part of as well as from family and friends to be honest. Yes, again - we have made our mistakes but make no mistake yourselves in thinking that God hasn't dealt with us appropriately. He allowed us to make our mistakes, allowed us to hit rock bottom but now we are and have been working hard to take responsibility for these mistakes and have done pretty well in being content with what we have been presently given - we have made the best of what we have because of our mistakes but we have also seen God begin to bless us abundantly. I guess to explain more...we live in a mobile home and some people look at this and either think "white trash" or "trailer trash" but in the same time that God disciplined us and we had to give up a house we had hopes for and so many ammenities there that we had to give up because of our own foolishness...when we moved into our current home - this has been the best house we've ever lived in. We were forced to have to choose between "nice" things and used things. Normally we would have spent money we didn't have but instead we looked for nice used furniture, started buying the bulk of our clothes at Meijer and Walmart, started eating less so not only our grocery bill would be less but so we would eat better as well, we stopped eating out so much and stopped going to the mall or movies or vacations or...and the list goes on. And in turn, we have seen God beginning to bless us financially and with "stuff". We do have a lot to learn and are learning to better prioritize our finances...but my point is - what some people look at - living in a mobile home, having cars that would win "beater of the year" awards, used furniture and okay clothing - we have learned to be content and even happy with what we have. And beyond that, we have longed to not only share what we have but want to be blessed even more so we have more to share. We know what it means to have to live without but we also know what it means to be blessed...we have lots of ways we can help others in regards to why it is good to make finances a family issue (we all need to take part so we all know where things are at financially as a family, what we can and cannot afford or do not need and to all learn to prioritize things that we want and learn to accept what we cannot afford or will have to either sacrifice other things or or save for - we do this as a family now). We've also seen the best and worst of marriage and intimacy related issues. I'm just saying - God is giving us so many ways to reach out...not just how I have been called. And we want so badly to help others and bring them into our lives personally to pray with, cry with, rejoice with and when we can share and teach how God is burdening and convicting our hearts. So any ways that we would be blessed as a family or personally would be put back into ministry. For example...I have and others have been burdened that I need to and will write a book. Say the book is a hot seller and I make more money than I have ever seen in my life and suddenly our family is able to buy a big house, get cars that we don't have to worry about breaking down, can buy clothes at Target now (just kidding, say Lands End which we do when we can or for gifts but couldn't no way for everything) and someone tells us of a family or individual who is really struggling and seeking Christ but in need of a car or help with paying for living space that is adequate to the situation or needs clothing. I would not hesitate to do everything I could for such a person. Why? Because I've been there. I remember way back when we first started having financial problems my husband said to me, "If we get through this and God helps us and we have a chance to help others, we're going to do it." It's that simple. There were and have been folks who could have helped us but saw how immature we were and in some ways still are and said, "No way am I going to help them, look at what they want." Well, that's called judging. Example...when I was diagnosed as manic-depressive (and yes, this is a test to see who will say, "Oh, I see - this chick is bipolar. End of story, I'm not taking anything this chick says to be real or trustworthy.") - I lost almost everything...I lost any belief in that I was a worthy person or good person, I lost the respect of family and friends who already thought I was stupid and I knew very well the stigma and gossip that would come along with being hospitalized for manic-depression in a psych. ward and being diagnosed as bipolar. I struggled at the time, even though we couldn't afford it with wanting good clothes. I thought, "Well, if I can't be all together mentally; at least I should have people see me dressed well and hopefully that will compensate and they won't think about me being mentally ill or at least get side tracked." So, I ordered and asked for clothing that I felt would at least give people an impression that somehow I was okay or at least still looked good. So, before you judge the situation of another person (which I have learned so well and experienced so many times) - think about every possible scenario in which that person might be experiencing. The pain of being hospitalized for mental illness and being diagnosed was so huge that I don't think I can get people who haven't been in that situation to understand. And every time I would try something new or reach out to family and friends after another tried attempt to be successful or try and do a new ministry idea and have it flop, I would lose more respect and further be disqualified as someone who was worth time, money or attention. And of course, this has only made me try harder to succeed. Why? Because the Bible says there is a God who loves me and a Savior who died for "losers" like me. Jesus didn't come to save the righteous or those who are well, but for sinners and the socially unacceptable like me (see Mark 2:17 and Luke 5:32). Since I was very young the only thing that has gotten me through this life is the knowledge of God's love and that Jesus died for me. This has been my strength and my hope and somewhere, sometime I must have done something right because I know that how I have been called and who I claim to be is not only real but because I am not someone that would be a popular or obvious choice. I am being qualified because I have been called and not the other way around (see 1 Corinthians 1:27-29 and also 2 Corinthians 12:6-10). What is at the core of the life of a believer/disciple of Christ? Faith. I believe because I have nothing else to believe in. Not myself, not my husband, not my daughter, not family, not friends because I will have to stand before God and give account for my life and he is and has been so real to me in so many ways. I can honestly say, God has never let me down. I have been discouraged, I have had moments of doubt but he has never given up on me. I can count on God in ways that I cannot ever count on anyone else. He is everything to me..and Jesus - my Lord, Savior and King...I have given my life and have risked everything in believing in and claiming what I have. I am hated, I am ridiculed, I am mocked, I am scorned, shunned, alienated...anything bad you can think of: I have known it for giving it all to Christ and stepping out in faith. I have very few friends, many acquaintances but very few real friends. My family has had to take on jobs and give up leadership and sacrifice time with me so that I can study, write and share. And much of this has gone unappreciated...except by the one who gives me peace and tells me not to give up. How does he do this? Just when I need it a thought or Scripture will come to mind that I can tell only comes from him because it fits the need or fills the void that I have just prayed about or spoken aloud about in frustration or confusion. It is right there at the moment I ask or speak. I see grace written all over everything that is happening to me - good or bad. I see grace written all over everything I am being asked to do and say. And hopefully as time goes by folks will see that I am real, humble and not otherwise and just seeking to be obedient to the leading of God's Holy Spirit and to my Lord and our Heavenly Father himself. I have already known miraculous healing in my life, my family is beginnig to see and understand all that God is doing in and through my life as well as accepting what I have been given to teach and I hope all others who are paying attention to what I am saying and doing will be patient with me and get to know me as I am and not only accept me but accpet what God is trying to do in and through me and offer through me. And why not? Why not me? Please continue to visit my blog or my Facebook page as I begin to answer the questions above...this may take more time than I hope but it will be worth it even if it is different from what you have been taught or believed before. But if you profess faith in Christ and are a believer/disciple of his, please do not neglect to pray for me and ask God to bless me as I study and write. I am your sister in Christ. And for the mistakes I made in the past before being saved..well, this last week sealed the deal in my eyes - sin was put before me and I responded as I needed to but not without the help of others to whom I am so grateful (you know who you are) and now that I know I have not failed God and truly am his child - I am working overtime to make sure I don't commit sins again - I have engaged in spiritual warfare and prayer, I am listening to the burdening and convicting of the Holy Spirit and also to the prayers that are being said on my behalf by so many others (if only I could get into this fully)...I am going to fight and not give up and God is going to bless what I am being obedient to. I am not a false prophet, I am not of Satan and I have in no way usurped or violated Scripture. If you think otherwise, prepare to be proven wrong. But all in God's timing and as fast as I can work outside of being a wife, mother and friend. You think you have pressure? Just wait until I answer question one and get into question two...and even then, I'm pretty sure most of you won't understand but that's okay. I won't give up trying to help or pray on behalf of those who will listen, pray for me and consider what God has given me to say. I am confident of his work in my life and what he has been doing and desires yet to do through me. Game on - I have been through hell on earth this last month and between demands here at home and demons trying to break through and torment me - game on. I have learned to fight all these years and endurance is my new best friend. I have been given ideas of what Satan might ask God to do to me should I continue - yes, when you take steps of faith this is the ministry the Holy Spirit works on your behalf to help you and not let you get sidetracked. Not only that but I also know the ministry of angels is very real and I am being helped in this way too. Don't believe me? Are we in the end times or not? Is prophecy not being fulfilled right before our very eyes? Doesn't Scripture say we are part of a spiritual battle (see Ephesians 6). I can back everything I have to share/teach with Scripture. But enough defensiveness...my heart and soul's desire is to help - I needed God's grace, compassion and mercy and anything I am able to prove or teach that discounts or discredits what others have taught and will have to rethink - you will find no personal ridicule, mockery or insult from me because of the grace, compassion and mercy I have received from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father who has so wondrously worked in my life through his Holy Spirit. God is faithful and true to his Word. Amen, all glory, honor and praise to Jesus and our Heavenly Father. Holy Spirt, thank you too for your continued interceding on my behalf. I am so thankful too that my prayers for angels to guard me and my family and to minister to us have not gone unanswered. While this may be about me in some respects, ultimately this is about being obedient to God's will for my life and not failing to stop believing in who I am and what I have been called to do. I will not give up because I know all too well what I and others stand to lose if I do. But I won't, so I hope you all will be patient with me, pray for me and at least consider what God has given me to share. I will probably begin with a short version and expand from there if necessary to at least get something out to all of you so that the wait is not too long if possible. Again, please pray for me - it would mean so much to me. There are yet things that I need help with yet or have not been given a full understanding of and where this applies I will make note and offer what I am led to believe but will ask for someone who does understand or has been given a full understand in ways that I have not, I will ask for such individuals to step forward and help give understanding to what I have not been given an understanding of. So hopefully as I work and share/teach...you all will be willing to take part as well and fill in what I am not supposed to know or what you can share to put the rest of the picture together so that we can move on from all of this, allow God to work through us to bring revival to a world that so needs it, longs for it and so when the time comes for those to go home who will before the rest of us...well, let's make it so that number of those who will have to stay either because of their own pride and ignorance but also many because we aren't taking the time to listen and be patient with one another and worrying if M. Kristi Van Dam is real or not...time is a wastin' so...so many are not going to believe and I know so many of you have valid reasons for wanting to go home now...but let's not be selfish and make sure you take many more home with you so they don't have to be faced with hiding or facing a guillotine just to either make it through having to die or face the tribulation. Okay? You will be going home so soon, believers and disciples of Christ - this I know so well. But please hang on just a little while longer and let's allow Christ to work through us to bring salvation to so many more so they can go home too.

Much love to you all in Christ, God bless you!

M. Kristi Van Dam

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